Safety Planning Toolkit

Abuse is about control, not anger or conflict. If you feel unsafe in your relationship, a safety plan can help you protect yourself and your children and prepare for emergencies.

Download: 

 Created by The Men's Centre and authored by Mark Busby in 2024 with funding from Island Health and the Province of BC. If you share a device, save it under a neutral name like "notes.pdf."

Understanding Abuse

Abuse is any behaviour that causes harm or fear, and it can happen in any relationship — regardless of age, culture, or gender.
For men, abuse often includes a mix of emotional, verbal, and psychological control that may go unnoticed or unacknowledged for years.

Types of abuse include:

  • Physical abuse – hitting, pushing, kicking, choking, or using weapons or objects to cause harm.
  • Emotional abuse – humiliation, insults, threats, intimidation, and constant criticism.
  • Coercive control – isolating you from friends and family, controlling your money, monitoring your movements, or threatening to take away your children.
  • Sexual abuse – any unwanted sexual contact, pressure, or coercion.
  • Legal or financial abuse – making false police reports, threatening custody actions, controlling access to funds, or damaging credit.

Not sure if it's abuse? Call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808

Making a Safety Plan

A safety plan is a personalized strategy that outlines what to do before, during, and after a violent or unsafe incident.
Even if you’re not ready to leave, having a plan can give you options and peace of mind.

  1. Know a safe place in your home with an exit and no weapons.
  2. Save emergency numbers in your phone under an alias.
  3. Keep a bag ready: ID, charger, keys, medication, clothes, cash, key documents.
  4. Keep copies of important papers outside your home.
  5. Tell someone you trust and agree on a code word.
  6. Avoid confrontation. Your goal is safety.


For online safety, see Get Help Now

If You Have Children

  • Teach them how to call 9-1-1 and what to say.
  • Show them a safe room and agree on a code word.
  • Tell them it is never their fault and their job is to stay safe, not to protect you.

If your partner is using the children to control you, contact Legal Aid BC or the Crime Victim Assistance Program (CVAP).

Legal and Financial Safety

You have rights and options. In British Columbia, men who experience family violence are entitled to the same legal protections and supports as anyone else.

Find Help In BC

Crisis Lines are on Get Help Now

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